I’ve been really inspired by reading, hearing about, and seeing weddings that friends are planning, participating in, or have been to. One of the things I’ve been talking to brides-to-be about is how to manage the stress of it all. Because lets face it, as wonderful and fun planning your wedding is, you are going to become stressed at some point. You can be as cool as a cucumber, but I promise you at some point you’re going to get flustered, overwhelmed, bombarded, etc. but here’s the best part… IT’S OKAY!
It’s okay to feel all of those things, in fact it’s normal. I’d be a little concerned if you didn’t feel that way, ever. This is one of the biggest days of your life. I like to think that getting stressed, just means your care. See? It’s a good thing. The way you manage your stress though it more important than the stress itself. Here are some things to consider to reduce your stress (when it comes).
Be prepared
Before any planning begins organize yourself. There’s a lot to do so make sure you are in the right state of mind to begin planning. If you have a lot going on at work or in another area of your life, it’s not imperative to plan your entire wedding in one week. You’ll have a much easier time if you’re willing, ready, and prepared to do so. Think of it this way- you are the Project Manager for this event. You will have help along the way, but if you’re organized everything will go a lot smoother and things will be completed on time.
Know what you want
You are going to get a lot of opinions given to you from multiple people. Many times, these opinions are just to get the creative juices going or are given because someone wants you to weigh all options before committing to a thought. As great as this is, I’m sure you have an idea of what your ideal wedding day is and what it’ll look like. Everything from the type of ceremony, general feel, food, etc. Get together with your fiance and create an overall picture of what your wedding is going to be and how it’s going to look. That way when the opinions start to filter in you’ll have an easier time with #3.
Thank you, but no thank you
This is often a hard thing to say (especially to in-laws). Because you participated in the exercise of #2 you’ll have an easier time saying “thanks, but no thanks”. I wouldn’t use those words exactly, but some responses could be:
- Thanks! But we’ve decided to...
- I really appreciate your thought, but we’ve already committed to...
- That’s a cool idea, but we’re happy going with...
Take a minute
Whether it’s a vendor offering more options, a family member asking a laundry-list of questions or a BM/MOH planning all of your fun pre-wedding fetes- take a minute. You’re not required to respond to everyone all day long. Some days are going to be more packed than others, but it doesn’t mean you’re on call 24/7. Take a minute. Take a breather. Take a break. Prioritize the priorities. In my opinion, vendors come first. These folks are responsible for getting things done on your day. Pay attention to them- being a responsive customer makes their job easier and more enjoyable to do for you.
Come back later
At some point you might want to throw your hands up in the air and say HALT! I don’t recommend actually shouting at anyone, but certainly excuse yourself. I know it took my sister a really long time to figure out her napkin color and it was something that began to frustrate her. Don’t try to push through stress- that just makes a situation even more stressful. Take a minute, go outside, clear your head, walk around bare foot- do something to ease your mind for a few minutes and come back. No one is going to say you're the worst person in the world for letting off some steam so that you can think more clearly and articulate what you want.
No matter what, it’s going to be a great day and will be well worth the work and the stress (just the little bit that will come).
