Ooh whaaaaat? There’s been some debate as to how much involvement a woman should have when picking out her engagement ring. Men, lets be honest this is something that we’ve been thinking about for a LONG time. Its something that we are going to brag about, show off, and presumably look down at every 5 minutes and gitty smile over for a while. It’s a bright sparkly thing that we get to keep- what’s not to love?
How much involvement do you want your woman to have? Do you mind subtle hints? Pictures? Detailed-descriptions or an all-out trip to the jewelry store.
I do think an element of surprise should still exist- if a girl knows exactly what she’s receiving it takes away some of the excitement and mystery. Just a little though- you asking her is the biggest surprise, honor and joy she is going to experience. The ring is just the icing on the cake.
Obviously discussing marriage before popping the question should be something that is mutual known and agreed upon before ring shopping occurs. But when it comes up she’ll let you know. Typically a picture or a description will come your way. Then there’s a more involved process- we’re going shopping together. Ladies- trust your man to know what you want. Trust that post-it note you gave him that says “Solitaire, pave band, raised basket”. When you are clear in your description the jeweler will know exactly what he is looking for.
I was at work last week and a fellow colleague was congratulating another girl who had recently gotten engaged and she said “This isn’t the setting, but the stone”. I didn’t get that at all. It looked like a great ring, but are you that unhappy with the setting? She could’ve meant that the band needed to be readjusted?? I wonder as a man how you would feel if the woman you presented a ring with said, I love you, and I love the stone, but I’d like to change the setting- slippery slope! Eeek. The flip side of that is men, do your research. Know what tastes your woman has an what she’d like. It’ll help muchos.
Regarding familial rings there is a deep sentimental value attached to rings and the importance of them being passed through the family is clear. Already-there rings should be discussed, and their importance taken into consideration. Antique rings are hard to come by- appreciate them for what they are, unique and timeless.
Sometimes it’s the woman who has a ring. Either passed down from their parents or grandparents and this is something she will want to keep and use. This is not a sham on your man-hood or ability to provide her with the ring she wants. It’s a testament to the long standing sentimental value the ring has AND besides there are plenty of other things you can provide for and purchase- i.e. your actual wedding bands.
Photo Source: Bride Wars
